Editing and Revising

Making Your Sentences Succinct

The simplest way of ensuring your sentences are as succinct as possible is to make sure every single word counts. You can do this by seeing whether each sentence would have the same meaning if certain words were removed. For example, in the first sentence in this paragraph, you could remove ‘single’ and it would mean the same thing. This might not seem that important in this example, but over the course of a long piece of writing, you will be surprised by how many words you can remove.

The second thing you should do when editing your work to make it more succinct is to check the transition words and phrases that link all of the different sentences together. There is an art to this, because these transitions are critical to making sure your writing reads well and follows a logical path. However, if there are simpler, more succinct alternatives to the transitions you have used, it would be a wise idea to change them. For example, why say “Despite the fact that,” when you could simply say “Despite…”

Dealing With Jargon

Science is a subject that requires you to use a certain amount of jargon, but this is potentially very problematic when you are communicating to non-specialist audiences. As a result, it is very important that you: 1) limit its use whenever possible, and 2) explain it using simple analogies (see our ‘Using Comparisons and Descriptions’ page).

Whenever possible, try not to have more than one jargon-heavy term in a single sentence, and use parentheses and abbreviations as a way of splitting up a passage of writing around these important but confusing terms. By placing the initial explanation of a term in parentheses, it forces your reader to pay special attention to it and it also sticks out from a body of text so that it is easy for your reader to skim back to it if they need to remind themselves of the explanation later on.

Some Examples

In the following examples, the second (B) version provides an example of dealing with jargon present in the first (A) version, before being edited for succinctness to give a final version (C).

1A: It is within the thermosphere that ionization occurs.

1B: The thermosphere is the layer of the Earth’s atmosphere that sits just below outer space. This is the part of the atmosphere in which individual atoms and molecules become charged (due to the loss or addition of electrons).

1C: Atoms and molecules become charged (due to losing or gaining electrons) in the thermosphere (the part of the Earth’s atmosphere that sits just below outer space).

2A: Our Linear Regression Model Fitter computer programme has proved to be very effective in highlighting patterns in bacterial populations. The Linear Regression Model Fitter computer programme was used by our researchers to show that antibiotic resistance can develop within 20 generations.

2B: Our Linear Regression Model Fitter computer programme (LRMF), which compares bacterial survival rate as drug dose changes, has proved to be very effective in highlighting patterns in bacterial populations. The LRMF was used by our researchers to show that antibiotic resistance can develop within 20 generations.

2C: Our Linear Regression Model Fitter computer programme (LRMF), which compares bacterial survival rate as drug dose changes, is effective in highlighting bacterial population patterns. The LRMF showed that antibiotic resistance can develop in 20 generations.

For a recap and for some extra information about writing succinctly and dealing with jargon, please watch Grammar Squirrel’s video on the UBC Science Writing YouTube channel.

We then suggest you complete the quick quiz (below) to see whether you have mastered some of the important skills relating to succinct writing and dealing with jargon.

Self-Assessment Part One: Revision

Take a break between writing the first draft of your paper before you start to revise it, and make sure this break is at least 24 hours. It will help to tackle the revision process with a clear mind and a fresh perspective.

To assess the strengths (and weaknesses) of your paper as a whole, try to follow the steps below:

1. Focus only on the meaning and structure (don’t worry about editing at this stage).
2. If you did not create a writing outline before writing this first draft, create one now from the draft that you have written to help you see the areas that are lacking in content or logical development.
3. Make sure you read aloud from a hard copy (not from a computer screen), so that you can hear what you have written down. If possible, have someone else read your work back to you because this will help you interpret how others will understand your work.
4. Always save successive drafts for future comparison.
5. Get feedback from others when revising (relating to the content and logical development). Have a look at the ‘How to Give and Receive Effective Feedback’ part of our site for more tips here.

You might find it helpful to use the following checklist (Table 1) as you revise your work. Doing so should help you decide whether your writing is saying what you mean it to say and taking the reader in the direction you desire.

Table 1: Checklist for the Revision Process

Self-Assessment Part Two: Editing

Take another break between writing the revised draft of your paper before you start to edit it, and make sure this break is at least 24 hours. It will help to tackle the editing process with a clear mind and a fresh perspective.

To assess the strengths (and weaknesses) of the grammar and mechanics of your writing, try to follow the steps below:

1. Focus only on word choice, punctuation, and grammar (don’t change content at this stage)
2. Make sure you read aloud from a hard copy (not from a computer screen) when you edit your work so that you can hear what you have written down. If possible, have someone else read your work back to you because this will help you interpret how others will understand your work
3. Keep a simple record of the mechanical mistakes you tend to make
4. Use the “find” tool in your software to search for overly used words and phrases. Then you can put in a word or phrase you have used and it will tell you how many times it appears in the document. When locating these words or phrases, decide which can go, which can be edited, and which must stay.
5. First, edit for clarity, and then edit for grammatical correctness

You might find it helpful to use the following checklist (Table 2) as you edit your work. Doing so should help you decide whether your writing is saying what you mean it to say. For specific tips on getting your grammar correct, visit our dedicated pages here: we have information on the Active Vs. Passive Voice, Clarity and Simple Language, Mechanics and Punctuation, and Numbers and Units.

Table 2: Checklist for the Editing Process

Additional Tips for Editing

If you are having trouble editing your work or are not sure where to start, follow the list below. There are some handy tactics to make the editing process seem less daunting and more bearable.

A) Try reading your paper in reverse (sentence by sentence), to make sure each sentence makes sense on its own.
B) Cut, don’t add! Every point, statement, question, or word should have a reason to be there.
C) Eliminate redundancies within sentences, and within your paper
D) Avoid the passive voice; it makes your sentences more long-winded than they should be.
E) Use the spell-check and grammar-check tools in your software, but not at the expense of doing this manually. These tools will spot things you miss, but you might spot things they miss too. Also, they are not always correct.

Finally, after you have edited your work, make sure you proofread and format the final copy. It is during this time that you should slowly re-read and compare your first draft to the final copy. Now, you can check the list of references used in your paper to make sure the information from them and your formatting is correct.

Giving Feedback

Preparing to Give Feedback

When your classmate gives you a paper to review, ask them for the main idea they are trying to communicate and note this, in a few words, somewhere on the paper. Return to this as you read the paper to check your classmate’s focus and clarity.

Read the paper carefully, taking time to note your first reaction to different sections. This will help you examine your own approach to reading and will help the writer see how their work is received at the outset.

Remember, you are offering feedback as a reader, not a writer – don’t worry about how experienced you are as a writer or how qualified you feel to offer feedback on someone else’s work. At this stage in the writing process, a reader’s input will be the most valuable.

If you are still unsure of what to look for when editing a paper, take a look at our Peer-Review Checklist (Table 1). This will help you identify some specific things to watch for while you are editing.

The Process of Giving Feedback

1. Know what the writer intends to say in their document and focus on whether they actually say it.

2. Focus on higher-order concerns – the most important and significant things to fix – don't give TOO much feedback; instead, just focus on the main points/learning targets: clarity, effectiveness, and correctness.

Table 1: Peer-Review Checklist for Assessing Higher-Order Concerns

3. Be supportive and honest – say what you like about the writing and try to explain everything in a positive way. Make sure you focus on the effectiveness of the paper as it appears to you as you read it.

• E.g. Instead of saying: “This is not interesting,” or, “This thesis statement is poorly worded,” say something like: “This paragraph is a bit confusing to me because…” or, “I like the way you included this, but I’m not sure if this part of the sentence is necessary.”

4. Give positive feedback, but also highlight main areas of weakness. Make sure to keep your tone approachable and positive in your comments, even when you are critiquing.

• Why do this? Offering work for peer review can be intimidating and stressful for both parties involved. Focusing on keeping the tone positive makes it easier to offer feedback and makes it easier for the recipient to engage. Think about times you have received commentary on work: it is easier to learn and avoid becoming defensive if the commentary is constructive and also acknowledges strengths, as opposed to when it is simply a list of your shortcomings.

5. Make comments in writing and use additional paper if you need to.

6. Make comments in the file if you are reading it as a digital copy as well. However, make sure you word your comments carefully to avoid any misunderstanding.

7. Be specific in your feedback - say why something is confusing or why you might disagree.

8. Always give examples, whether you are the reader or the writer, asking the reader to focus on specific elements of the project.

• Why do this? Providing examples adds clarity in communication and demonstrates the observations you make. If you are the reader, using the writer’s own work to illustrate your observations can help the writer to understand how you are relating to the work in a specific and memorable way; if you are the writer, using your own work to illustrate your requests to your reader will help them see your work from your perspective.

Receiving Feedback

Preparing to Receive Feedback

1. Before you give a paper to your classmate, choose a few things that you would like to receive specific feedback on. Either make a note of these on your draft or let your classmate know when you exchange drafts. This is a good idea if you have been given a list of required points to comment on or questions to answer within the assignment instructions.

• Why do this? Two reasons: first, it forces you to read your own work very carefully, so as to notice what is going well and what you feel isn’t quite right. Second, it ensures that the reader will check the logic, flow, and transitions of your paper.

2. Take the time to proofread your draft before sharing it with your reader.

• Why do this? Often, readers see proofreading as the first, best, and easiest way to help a writer. Doing a quick proofread to correct obvious errors before sharing your project with your reader takes away the distraction of errors in grammar, punctuation, format, and mechanics and allows your reader to focus on what really matters (the content and logical development of your work).

The Process of Receiving Feedback

1. Have a positive attitude and try not to become defensive.

Revise your work to address appropriate feedback – carefully decide which feedback to use – you have the final say and can decline advice if you disagree. However, unless there is a good reason, it might be risky to ignore advice from someone who will be grading your work. It can be frustrating if you spend a lot of time as a reader providing detailed, constructive comments that would improve a piece of writing, only to have the writer ignore these in subsequent drafts.

2. Keep a record of the types of comments you receive to guide the way you write future assignments.

Reflecting after Feedback

Make sure you understand the written and verbal feedback that you have been given.

If you need more information or clarification about the assignment or feedback you have received, don't be afraid to ask for it!

• Why do this? Your professor/instructor has office hours for a reason and is happy to help. Don’t be intimidated! Check out the ‘How to Approach Instructors’ part of our site if you need some help!